Realtionships are hard. They take lots of work. You have to choose to keep doing the work everyday.
Not all relationships are the same
First thing is not all relationships are alike so work on stopping comparing yours to others. It is so easy to fall into comparing each other. It’s easy to hold up other relationships and wish yours looked like that. Maybe you’ll find some couples kind of like your relationship but not fully. Many times if you find yourself wishing you can be like an other couple you need to really sit in your feelings and ask yourself what it is they do you like and why is that. Sometimes it maybe something that you and your partner can’t do. Like I once use to be jealous of this other couple because they were just so super zine. They were like what you think about when you think of hippies from the 60’s. They didn’t seem to be bothered by life. I can’t be like that no matter how hard I may try to be and that’s okay.
What do you need in a relationship and why? What do you want in a relationship and why? Sometimes these don’t match up. Also be honest about the way you love and see love. Like for me I am kind of a clingy person and that’s okay. My wife is also kind of a clingy person. It works that we love to be together. I have friends that need alone time and that is okay. They found partners that also need alone time. I know it can be hard to be honest not only with an other person but yourself. With this also tell your partner what you need and want. This can be scary but in the end it will be worth it.
Somedays will be the worst
My wife and I have been together for 13 years and there have been days I thought it maybe over. It’s hard to stick it out sometimes. But when both of us were honest we both didn’t want things to end. We had to find ways to make through the storm. If that means you have to get help do it! If that means you have to face fears you have then do it! Your relationship is worth the work if you both want it to work.
Work off each others strengths (Fuck Gender Norms)
Honestly I have had SO many converstions with people that really boil down to gender norms. People have this idea of what it means to be a woman/man. This will many times cause issues in your relationship. We really need to work off our partners strength. We shouldn’t shame our partner because they don’t fit into gender norms (because Fuck gender norms). I don’t even think we always realize we do this. Most of us have bias it is our jobs to try to figure out what they are.